NHL THUG ALL STARS

This is the current NHL all Thug team, a Thug can be many things and its not a bad thing…sometimes. There’s no criteria here, guys can be Thugs because of penalty minutes or Thugs because they are pest on the ice or in some cases, rats.

Head Coach- John Tortorella

Really? Who the hell else would it be, the guys a nut job. He would prolly just coach for free if he had this group of guys.

Line 1

LW- Milan Lucic

C- Evgeni Malkin

RW- Tom Wilson

Lucic has calmed down recently, but that’s because guys are too scared to go at him, his Boston years he was an absolute beast. Malkin is skillful and just dummies guys, plus ole Gino is a real beauty, he deserves top line status. Agree with him or not, Tom Wilson is a true enforcer and terrifies just about everyone…except maybe rival Ryan Reaves. With his looks and (literally) killer skill, Wilson is a modern day enforcer.

Line 2

LW- Evander Kane

C- Lars Eller

Rw- Ryan Reaves

Kane is an animal, and currently leads the league in PIMs, he has skills and isnt afraid to smash someone. When he’s at his peak, hes among the leagues elite. If you need to know why Reaves is here then just check the game notes, he may be one of the most fun guys to watch in the league. When he gets mad, he untouchable, a real throw back guy who can still play in today’s league. His rivalry with Tom Wilson would make people tune in just to watch practice. Lars Eller has really started to come into his own, he did get crushed this year by Marchand, but that hasn’t stopped him from chirpin everyone. He said the Maple Leafs “aren’t anything special” gotta love the savagery.

Line 3

LW- Pat Maroon

C- Michael Haley

RW- Brad Marchand

Maroon is just an old school tough guy who has adapted his game to be success in the new NHL, those guys are a rarity. Michael Haley led the league in PIM and was the only player over 20 fights last year. Before the season he entered the NHL/NHL Players Association assistance program, so lets hope everything is ok. The 8 year vet is deserving to be among the thugs. Marchand should probably be a top liner, a great talent that just can’t stop licking people, guy is psycho. If you know anything about hockey, then Marchand is an easy choice and prolly an Alternate Captain.

Line 4

LW- Matthew Tkachuk

C- Max Domi

RW- Antonie Roussel

Every full season in the league Roussel is over 100 PIM, that’s what he does, one of the leagues toughest guys. The other 2 guys on this line are the next generation and have learned from their fathers. Their thuggery has been well documented, but teammates love them, that’s the ultimate thug criteria.

Defense

PK Subban                                        Dustin Byfuglien

Travis Harmonic                             Kevin Bieksa

Rodka Gudas                                     Alex Petrovic

PK makes this team just like Geno, top tier talent, but not afraid to chip it up. He was among the top the league for defense-man last year in PIM, and can skate like the wind. Big Buff is obvious as it gets on this roster, he’s an absolute force, but still gets it done when he has to.  Harmonic has no problem dropping the mitts and his d partner (Bieksa) will super man punch anyone who steps up, this would be an all time tough guy d partnering. Rodka Gudas and Alex Petrovic aren’t as well known but both rack up the fights and PIM’s they are bottom defenseman who know their jobs.

Goalie

Ray Emery

This guy was an absolute legend and no current goalie can touch him. He would be the only goalie that could ever start for this squad. RIP

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